The Power of an Introvert

note: post was taken down for some corrections

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you should all know what I sound like in my posts and comics…I sound pretty silly (immature) and loud ( with lots of “!!!!!!!!! ”).

But let me tell you something really surprising, I’m actually an extreme introvert in real life. (OMG REALLY?!)

Yes, really! Now I know you might have just dropped your jaw and need to find it, but hear me out on this one.

My introversion has been one of my major problems in my whole life. I had begun to think that I was socially impaired because of it, and spent years trapped within the concept that I was dumb, alone and different in a very bad way.

In a short set of phrases, being introverted caused me: social phobia, low self-esteem, and isolation.

My acting career – “The Extrovert”

I tried to fit in, just like you have in your life. I’m sure you can agree that there are some parts of you that just don’t seem right to be shown in the public, causing you to hide and copy some behaviors as a mask making you feel more accepted and “normal”.

That is exactly what I did; I tried my best to be an extrovert. I tried to talk about mundane things that most people usually enjoy (which I still don’t quite understand why). I tried to appear outgoing and talkative.

And the result of that is? Well, I would be completely exhausted, and sometimes I’d even feel confused about my identity. It’s pretty much having going to work being an actor every single second of my days (its fine the first time…but tiring the 385,859^th time)

After years of figuring out who I am and trying to change myself for the bettering of the world (where extroverts roam), I finally just say to myself: “I am an introvert, not a shy and insecure extrovert!”

That is what the world around us can do, the lost introverts may feel that they are simply extroverts who are flawed in terms of communication and networking.

Introverts in an extroverted world – It could be hard, I know.

As you all know, an introvert is usually someone who would rather spend time alone by him/her self than to be around many people. For an introvert, being around a lot of people drains our energy. Therefore, we’d like to recharge with individual activities – such as reading, meditating or any other creative solo projects.

However, being an introvert does not mean we are afraid of being around people. I for one actually like to be around people, I want to connect with others (I mean who doesn’t?). An introvert simply prefers to be by ourselves (or with 1 or 2 close friends) rather than being around people all the time.

But the problem comes with the introvert stereotype- introverts are often seen as the weaker and much more of a “loser” (party pooper) than an extrovert. Because in modern media portrayal, the popular characters are often successful in social interactions, has huge network of “friends”, goes to parties, and pretty much out drinking all the time (jk of course…)

I mean look at all of the “awesome” celebrities, they are all partying all the time! Who doesn’t want to be Paris Hilton?

The problem with that ridiculous portrayal is, many people fall under that trap. They would feel bad about themselves when they actually like to spend time alone, because culture is telling us that we should be going out while having thousands of “friends”!….otherwise we are just LOSERS AND LONERS.

Our culture and the people within it have the power to make the introverts feel like that we are just flawed extroverts.

The POWER of an introvert

Well…let me tell you something about our “flaws”, if you are an introvert:

• You are naturally calm, collected and thoughtful. (rarely compulsive)

• You have an incredible amount of sense of self, higher awareness and consciousness about our identities, emotions and thoughts.

• You greatly appreciate the deep and close connections of a few settled friends, introverts often have more profound and lasting relationships than extroverts.

• You often show innate ability of creative thinking and originality.

• You can be very understanding of someone else’ emotions and thoughts; it is easier for you to establish true emotional connection.

• Although introverts do not express much, introverts can be extremely witty with their languages, arts or even humor.

• Introverts tend to be more compassionate instead of aggressive.

• Introverts are often considerate people, they like to listen to others and focus on outside stories.

• Fascinated with conversations involving deep and profound topics – human nature, philosophy, emotional consciousness, and some other mind boggling things that I’m too dumb to think of.

• Introverts are “quiet achievers“, they spend more time helping someone and/or the world rather than the extrovert who would likely to be more focused on talking about his/her efforts.

Flaws? I don’t think so.  Rather, these are traits that introverts should be proud of.

Introverts are weird? Nah, they are just profound and creative people with ideas and habits that this superficial world just don’t seem to focus on anymore.

Now I’m not trying to post a propaganda solely promoting introverts (okay maybe I am a little…:D), but what I am trying to say here is that…there is absolutely no reason for anyone who is an introvert to feel bad about it.

If you want to spend some time alone because you feel tired from spending time with many people…that is okay. If you enjoy the silences and prefer not to talk while there are people in the same place…that is okay too. And if you are in conversation and not really into the small talk …THAT’S OKAY!

There is nothing wrong with you nor is there any reason for you to feel bad about being like that, simply because you are just another human being with a different set of preferences.

In fact we should feel proud that we are the way we are.

You’re an introvert, be proud

If you are an introvert reading this, then do a favor for me and feel fortunate that you are the way you are.

• Many people find it hard to be able to fully focus and listen to someone while they are talking; however, introverts are mostly experts at this.

• Many people need people around them all the time, otherwise they risk feeling lonely and isolated. Introverts are not only fine with being independent; they even like it and prefer it usually.

• Many people can know a lot of people and be constantly surrounded by them, however, still feel lonely and disconnected. Introverts usually sustain more deep relationships with meaning and substance.

• Many people live their lives in confusion of their emotions and mentality. Introverts are naturally introspective, therefore they have a better understanding of who and how they are, ultimately making them wiser in terms of having a good life-style.

• Many people are easily influenced by their peers on who they should be, however, introverts with their high awareness of their identity are more likely to be immune from external and negative influences. Therefore they are less vulnerable to pressures, making them more independent and indirectly stronger.

There are many characteristics of an introvert that are more than just beneficial to the individual, but also to the world itself.  Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Carl Jung and many other creative and brilliant world revolutionists were all introverts. And I’m sure they were damn proud to be who they were.

Tips for the struggling introvert

Now let’s be real and honest here, it doesn’t matter how much I can praise an introvert (because I think they deserve it), but the world and your life can only work well if you are liked by people…the more the better.

So here some tips I suggest for my fellow introverts that can help you in terms of communication and dealing with people. (I’m following them too)

• This one is obvious, and you may have already done it. Just copy social behaviors and learn social skills from people that you look up to. If you practice this for a while, it’ll come as second nature (of course with introversion being your first nature ).

• Find introverts and socialize with them. It is surely tiring to deal with extroverts, so it is definitely more comforting and connecting to talk to someone who is similar to you. You’d find support and understanding through this.

• Learn small talk. Although it can be mundane, it does however, open up great opportunities for networking with people that could be beneficial for your well being, relationships, and even career. It’s easy to learn, if you have a mirror at home.

• Most importantly, don’t ever put yourself down for being shy and not wanting to talk. People can usually relate to shyness and awkward silences. It’s OKAY.

• Final rewards. Every time you’ve overcome your obstacle within your introversion, reward yourself and link positive associations with your effort. Overtime, it’ll feel much more positive instead of negative when it comes to interaction.

• Lastly, feel awesome because you are thoughtful, aware and deep.
  

I’m not providing these tips because there is something wrong with introverts, but while introverts do have their great qualities, they still sometimes have hard times with their enclosed nature. That nature may sometimes bring serious problems into their lives (I know that from experience), so the best thing is to accept your nature, be proud with what you are good at and improve what you aren’t.

Final words

I applaud you if you have read every word all the way through (seriously I applaud you). If you didn’t I completely understand (lol).

So if you don’t have the time/energy to read everything, I’ll just leave you with this one phrase:

Embrace your introversion, practice your extroversion.

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• Comic Lesson #5 : Don’t Be Too Lazy With Your Life
• A Whole New World – Persist Your Resolutions with Me
• Intellectual understanding Vs. Intuitive connection