Why Aren’t You Successful…Yet?

“Anything is possible as long as you put your mind to it” – Everybody

Ever heard of that? I certainly have… maybe just over a few thousand times. Every single self-help book that I’ve read, every TV show with a moral behind it, and possibly every personal development resource on the web all say the same thing – anything is possible when you put your mind to it.

What does that mean? Well, it simply means everybody has the ability to go after their goals and succeed in accomplishing them.

Yet…everybody isn’t successful.

All over the internet and of course the world, there is practically an incredible amount of resources that teaches people how to succeed, in pretty much anything.

People can learn how to succeed in getting healthy and fit, gain financial freedom, solve relationship dilemmas, and develop spiritual awareness.

It’s not just the amount of personal development resources that are out there, it is also the speed that these resources keep growing. Day by day, more books, websites and even seminars specifically teach people how to succeed are being released and promoted at a great rate.

More tips and new advices guarantee that they are bound to be the ultimately cure to unhappiness.

So…why isn’t everybody successful yet? Why is it that the average John or Jane in the developed societies are never portrayed as someone who is spiritually aware, financially stable, extremely healthy, and ultimately enjoying life?

The average guy/gal

Are they blind to what they can learn from all this available resources?

Why is it…that the average person is:

• Someone who probably suppresses his/her emotions and lives their daily lives re-actively instead of actively.

• Not financially stable, probably stressed out about the taxes, mortgages, insurance, and monthly bills.

• Occasionally exercises and have some minor health issues.

• Ultimately not really that satisfied with his/her career but is really just stuck there.

• Always has something to worry about.

• Non-existent to be honest, but the majority of the people still probably fit many of these qualities.

So, what are they missing? What is the ultimate reason that people just forget what they read in a personal development blog or what they’ve just learned in a self-help seminar and simply go back to live their “average” life?

I got one word for you – FEAR (DUN DUN DUN!!!!)

Fear – the main drive for motivation or lack thereof

During my process of personal growth, I have come to learn that there are two main reasons for humans to take actions in anything.

• It is either because we fear suffering so we try to avoid it.

• Or it is because we desire pleasure and so we go after it.

Unfortunately for us, the truth is that FEAR is always a greater drive of actions for human beings. We are basically biologically wired to avoid suffering and pain, and there is nothing we can do about it.

So how does FEAR come into play with the lack of action that people keep having?

Well, people usually procrastinate with their life either because the desire of wanting their goal is weak, or (the common reason) they fear that they will suffer more than the pain they are in now if they do take action.

And so as a result, in order to avoid further suffering, they avoid taking action.

This is what happens with too many people. They fear that change in their life will somehow bring them more pain, and so they stay static for years.

They constantly spend their years in worries and regret, wanting more from life, yet they are reluctant to welcome any change that may improve their life style.

One of the reasons why I feel that many are stuck in this pain avoiding cycle is because of the impulsive behaviors that human beings tend to integrate into their lives.

Because they fear that a big change will bring more pain, they avoid that risk and therefore take the safer route:

• By indulging themselves with situations that would make them avoid little pains and gain little pleasures at this moment (short term), so there is assurance that they will succeed for sure.

Success in the future means pain in this moment

How many of you have given up on a goal in life simply because it takes too long of a time for you to reach it.

You might feel that the hard work and persistence is just too much for you to handle at this moment, and you don’t even know if it is worth it.

I know I’ve done that mistake many times. I’ve associated the relieve of hard work and persistence as more pleasurable in this moment, than the potential pleasure my future success will grant me.

I knew that it will make me feel more fulfilled in the future if I kept on working hard, but as impulsive human beings (as we  naturally are), I was instinctively “forced” to only want things that could make me avoid suffering/gain pleasure NOW.

This is the reason why people procrastinate, do drugs, drink alcohol, or even waste countless hours in front of the television, because those activities provide them with little escapes of pain and grant them pleasures of NOW.

• To sum this up: The reason why you don’t feel like taking action is because you link more pain for taking action than not taking action. Therefore in order to avoid pain as a natural instinct, you avoid taking action.

• In order to hopefully “make-up” for the abandonment of big change in your life, you indulge yourself with activities that would be guaranteed to make you escape from pain and immersed in pleasure at this moment…for a short while.

• As this cycle continues, life soon gets darker and darker, no change, no improvement, always working for life and never having life to work for you.

Use your fear for motivation, instead of having fear to use you.

Honestly, I’m not going to tell you to take action. And you obviously know why if you’ve this far.

But I am going to tell you to utilize that fear of suffering to your benefit, instead of letting it taking over you and making you passive most of the time.

How?:

Whenever you have a goal or a task coming up in any aspect of your life, observe how you feel and think. If you don’t feel motivated for the goal that you really want to accomplish, ask yourself why.

Is it because somewhere in your mind, you have already linked the result of pain and suffering with the progress of working towards your goal or even the success of that goal?

If that is the case, then I would like you to ask yourself a simple question.

Ask yourself “What will be the pain you’ll get if you don’t take any actions?”

Keep asking yourself that question, because then, you’ll condition your mind to focus on how not doing something is going to be more painful than you doing it.

Use that fear and pressure as a motivation and drive for your goal. Because as long as you are comfortable in where you are in life, there will be a weak drive for improvement and success.

Last words

It is never because you are not smart enough or capable enough to be successful; it is only because somewhere inside of you, you’ve already decided not to be successful.

Associate pain with lack of your efforts instead of taking action, once you do that, you will use fear instead of fear using you.

Thank you very much for reading and have a great day people.

Remember to pinch yourself when you don’t take action! (associate pain with no action!)

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