Your Life? Or Your Self-Image?

Your life? Or your self-image?

I’ve recently noticed in my own actions and thoughts, that the focus of them were often either on the protection of my ego or the promotion of it.

I realized that I’ve lived my life not to experience the colors and mysteries of my time, but to either indirectly match my level of “status” with others or to increase my concept of self-worth, eliciting a false sense of superiority.

This has always been one of my biggest problems in the past. It hasn’t been so much of a problem in the present because I have become more self-aware.

SCHOOL STARTED IT ALL

School is a domain of competition. Be it sports, academics, popularity, or the latest fashion trends, every student is constantly being compared in every possible angle of their mental contests.

When I was stuck in school, sure I had good friends and I cared for them. However, the majority of the time, it was constantly just about students competing with each other and talking about their statuses of their academic records, sports achievements, and possessions.

It was a constant desperation for students to either feel equalized with those of who they admire, or for establishing a greater achievement, generating the “superior” feeling.

Now you might say, that these students’ desperate need to equalize or advance only exist within the immature minds of…well students. You might think that once these students are released from their education, and forced to live a life of their independence, that they will be prepared or at least…be forced to be prepared to live and to experience.

That isn’t true however, in fact that is never true.

WE ALL DO THIS

Everybody of every age usually constantly live their lives to either feel good about themselves, or to avoid feeling bad about themselves.

There are several examples that I’ve experienced and witnessed personally that I can provide so that you may see how this can happen.

Conversations

• When two people having a conversation and one person like to inform the other of the news, gossip, or personal information, they are simply expanding their concept of their egos.

• Because when a person reveals a part of knowledge that is unknown to the listener, the speaker feels a sense of superiority, the speaker possesses a knowledge that only he/she has between the two of them.

• When people gossip, the speaker simply just wants the listener to feel : “ I told you this, remember I am the source of this knowledge, you got it from ME, if it wasn’t for ME you would’ve never known right now”

• This sort of conversation is a battle of superiority, for the person who informs may feel like the educator, therefore standing in a superior position.

Hobbies

• Many people immerse themselves with a hobby, simply because it makes them feel good about themselves. It makes them feel unique to maybe adopt a skill that is rarely practiced by others, or it makes them equalized within the status of a healthy individual when immersed in that hobby.

• I can play 3 instruments, paint and I have competed in tournaments of 2 sports…but I do it for myself and not for others. I play with those instruments, because I am absolutely fascinated by their mechanics and the results they produce. I paint because it helps me express my visualizations that I generate within my mind. I play those sports, because I am again passionate about the fun they give me.

• When you are enjoying a hobby simply because it boosts your ego, then you are going to feel empty and bored with it. Hobbies and interests are something that should be a time of personal space and immersion, in which the individual reside in their own little world of joy and stillness.

Materialism

• Okay, materialism is so far the main method to boost one’s ego. Be it the amount of money you possess, the type of gadget, the brand of clothes, the amount of tattoos, the type of fashion, the color of your hair, make-up, and a whole bunch of other things that is going to make this post 5000 words long.

• These “things” are all windows of opportunities to boot the scale of ego within someone.

• Because you’d feel good about yourself when you are rich (with a lot money), constantly upgraded and mainstream (new gadgets), sophisticated and fashionable (clothing brands), unique and outstanding (tattoos and unique fashion type), and ultimately superficially attractive (make-up).

• All of the advertisement agencies know that human beings live to promote or to protect their ego, so they commercialize their products specifically so that they would boost our self-image. Many of them has advertisements that elicit an indirect message of what would happen if you DON’T get their products – “you will be unattractive, not mainstream, not included, not smart, not lucky, etc” They know exactly how to make people feel bad first, then introduce their product as an ego cure right afterwards – incredibly evil, but ingenious.

I think I have done enough of examples…OH WAIT, one more!

Internet

• BLOGS boost one’s ego. Having a blog gives the blogger complete control over his/her community.

• Having a blog provides information, therefore making the blogger the educator to the masses.

• Having a blog allows the bloggers’ voice to be the most important, automatically letting them know that they have the loudest voice on their site.

• And doesn’t it just sound unique and cool when you tell someone in real life “I have a blog!”?…Well not for long…everyone is going to have one soon…so boast about it while you still can!

• Boy, do I feel superior to all of my readers already! “I am SO MUCH SMARTER AND BETTER YOU!” (sarcasm).

That is all I have to give, I try to live my life to sincerely accept and to appreciate what it gives me, rather than wasting my time trying to protect feeling bad and promote feeling good. I’ve done that long enough, and the only result I got from that is a hole of self-esteem that can never be filled.

So let me ask those of you who are reading this…are you living your life to experience and to connect? Or are you living your life just so you can rise above everyone else?

Stop living life for the promotion of your and others’ impression(s) of you, you cannot compare human beings with each other. The impression that you have on others and yourself, is not at all universal, it is a personal opinion that is easily varied across the world.

Just as blue might be your favorite color, and orange might be mine, there is no universal law binding them and stating blue is just “scientifically” a better color than orange. Personal opinions are not facts, just as the impression of ego you have upon yourself or you think others have upon you are not worth the time for contemplation about whether if it is the universal truth or not…BECAUSE IT ISN’T.

One advice I would give (I swear I’m not trying to establish superiority here), is that just immerse yourself with life experiences, without any self-examinations and comparisons (I know it’s hard).

Take whatever comes and goes as life it’s self and not as a fault or virtue of your own.

Live and love for yourself and others, not for your ego.

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