December 11th, 2009] [
I’ve learned a lot about life, people and the world over the past few years. I’ve come to realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with life itself, however, the only thing that can make something appear “wrong” is our minds.
The thing about our minds is that they are absolutely brilliant with the process of analysis and interpretations of the world. The complex functions and processes of our minds never cease to amaze me.
However, while it is so powerful at processing reality, it is just as powerful at creating realities and misconceptions that could trap us within the misery of negative emotions/thoughts.
There are several misconceptions about life that many people tend to live by everyday. To the many of them, these life philosophies may appear to be the norm, however, underneath it all, many of these misconceptions have the potential of bringing the worst emotional sufferings in life.
Therefore, this post will highlight the some of the misconceptions that I think is necessary to remind many of us that they are indeed simply misconceptions.
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Misconception #1
Happiness is the end product of the linear progress of your accomplishments.
This is obviously false. Many people have spent their life-time achieving everything that they’ve ever wanted, however, still end up feeling empty and lost inside. Why? Because they’ve got the whole happiness concept wrong.
Happiness is not a stage in life, nor can it be acquired through external materialistic mediums. It is an ability and a wisdom within you that you can unlock everyday if you just simply and sincerely choose to.
I’m not saying that it is simple as that; it involves a consistent commitment to accept situations and people in your life. It involves appreciating your existence and what is important to you. It involves having a wide range of deep and profound emotions that makes life meaningful.
You are happy when you are attentive to the depth of your life, not the price of it.
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Misconception #2
You should be happy normally; if not then you aren’t doing something right/something is wrong with you.
This is absolutely false. This is a serious misconception, because of this false belief; many people will end up feeling unhappier that they are unhappy.
The human mind is evolved in a way to analyze and to interpret realities for protective reasons. It is a brilliant however ancient mechanism that keeps us alert of potential troubles and dangers.
Those dangers used to be getting killed by sabre-tooths, but now our mind keeps that attention somewhere else such as exams, dates, career, income, relationships, and everything else that can create anxiety, worries, depression and fear within us. In other words, this ancient evolved mechanism creates irrational fears and other negative emotions.
All in all, being unhappy is not an abnormality. We only feel that way because our society likes to promote that image, thus making the average folk feeling flawed – which ironically makes us unhappy.
Many people also think that other people are naturally happier than they are, making them feel like the odd on out. However, everybody is merely the same, we all have problems that we do not wish to share with the public therefore we put on a strong and happy facade…but really who knows how happy everyone is?
So, it’s alright to feel unhappy, because it’s absolutely normal, and you should be glad or even happy that you feel can unhappy…as it is the unhappiness in life that really makes you appreciate the truly happy and important moments you have experienced.
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Misconception #3
The future always holds a happier place than the one you are in now.
Nope, in the conceived reality (not including alternate universes), there is no such thing as the future. You cannot see, hear or experience the future in any way. If you think you are, you are experiencing your mental concept of the future during the present moment.
The problem with this misconception is that most people are used to seeing the present as a mere “stepping-stone” into their salvation of a future. By having that belief, they treat the only source of life (the present) as a tool and not as an experience or a window of satisfaction.
By believing that you shall experience more joy in the future, you divert your focus away from actually having the desire to experience joy right now.
Realize that the only time in life that you can take action and feel emotions is right now, therefore, take the only opportunity you have of the present and start the lifestyle you’ve always desired.
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Misconception #4
Your happiness depends on the behaviors of others’ and the outcome of your life situations.
Your mood, actions, thoughts, emotions, behaviors, whatever, is all your responsibility alone. Some people and situation may direct you down that path of negativity, but it is completely your doing if you continued and worsened it.
While I do believe that it is impossible for us to completely control our thought patterns and emotions, we could however, still choose to pay attention to what goes on in our heads. We may not have the control of how we could get pissed when someone acts like an a**hole, but we can make a decision to whether we should focus and direct our energies towards the negativity that are present in our lives.
Therefore, bad situations and a**holes can potentially introduce to you to the path of negativity, however, it is still ultimately up to you to whether if you want to continue down that path or not.
I don’t know about you, but the path of appreciation and acceptance seems a bit better than the one that says frustration and grudge on the road-sign.
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Misconception #5
Happiness only happens when you have no negative thoughts in your head.
False. Because having no negative thoughts in our heads permanently is simply…pretty impossible. You might be able to experience momentary freedom of negative thoughts, for a few seconds some days, or even a few minutes some other days, but the truth is – Human beings are naturally paranoid and attracted to negative things, it is the way we have evolved to think and to emote.
Not even a Zen master who spent years practicing mindfulness can permanently turn off his negativity switch in his head. So what does that mean? It means there is no point trying to fight the negative thoughts in your head, nor is there any point to avoid it, because they will always be there.
The key is to stop fighting and avoiding the negativity, and to just accept that there is negativity in you. It also matters to where you direct your attention to, if you choose to pay attention to the negative thoughts in your head while you are having a conversation, then of course you aren’t going to enjoy the conversation.
When you focus on things that aren’t truly necessary for you in life – then you aren’t happy.
Happiness happens when you realize what is truly important and meaningful in your life. It happens when you start to pay attention to the things that genuinely matters to you.
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Misconception #6
Death will not interfere with your “pursuit” of happiness.
This one always gets me. Because I always intuitively believe that I will live for at least another 50 years. But guess what? I have no idea what will happen in the future.
The truth is…who knows? My life could end in the next 2 hours, the next 2 weeks, the next 2 months, or the next 50 years. Certainly feels scary and odd when you think it like that huh?
What I’m trying to say is that, we take for granted for the amount of time that we think we will have on this planet. We constantly waste countless days and months because we had subconsciously planned out how long it will take us to be content and happy.
Most of us never really do feel like we are ready to be satisfied and happy yet…”just a little more going on in our lives and we will be happy”.
Take the chance you have now while you are still living, be appreciative of what you have, let the people you care about know that you do, and treat every day as an opportunity to enjoy what’s in store for us in this huge realm of possibilities.
Most important of all, pay attention to what’s important, not what’s simply there.
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Misconception #7
Self-help books, personal development programs, and this blog post will solve your problems and worries.
Nothing else is the solution but you. You can read hundreds of self-help books, read every post on this blog or any other personal development blogs, but if you don’t take action to actually improve your life-style then only one thing will happen – NOTHING.
Different things work for different people. Some people prefer the step by step programs where they follow the structural presentations and understanding of success. Some people might prefer a more philosophical approach in order to achieve a deeper understanding to human nature and spirit. Others might just prefer consistent conditioning and training of their minds in order to produce better habits for a healthier lifestyle.
The bottom line is that you are never going to make any progress on improving your life unless you take action. If you consistently learn knowledge about a healthy lifestyle however rarely or even never practicing it, and you wonder why your life hasn’t gotten better?…well…why do you think that’s even the case then?
So, let me ask you a very important question: what are you going to do?
These 7 misconceptions are very common indeed and they’re hard to ignore if one doesn’t know how to fight them. Your explanations definitely give us a fighting chance!
As for #7: Self-help programs/books have likely been around for thousands of years yet this fascination has really surged in the blogging world.
People are literally becoming addicted to these ‘life changing’ programs, books and blogs. Self-help addiction is definitely NOT helpful; it’s harmful for it can keep us helpless and waiting our whole lives for ‘perfect’ opportunities.
I’d say if one is feeling stuck in their lives then do something (anything!) that gets you moving back on your path. If you keep waiting then nothing will ever come.
Even if the action is to do less in life or just that moment, make -your- choice if it feels right.
“So, let me ask you a very important question: what are you going to do?”
I guess I should have answered this in my first post! :p
I, like many, am currently walking on the path of self-improvement. I feel I’m a little slower than I could be but even a step a day gets me closer to my goals.
Your post helps me to highlight what misconceptions I need to look out for and to replace bad beliefs with positive ones. I’ll strive to make at least 4 1/2 extra steps tomorrow.
Thanks, Steven.
People ARE becoming more addicted to these life changing programs. Because to them, it isn’t a program that they have to persist every day, it is actually a program that will automatically cure any problems that they have in their lives.
They could see a really popular and insightful self-help book as this ultimate cure for their negativity and life problems…when much of the self-help book is implying that the readers themselves are the cure.
It’s addictive because it feels GOOD to be immersed in these things – which is the same with television, procrastination, alcohol. However, you can’t just feel good while reading it, you have to actually initiate a progress towards the good stuff it informs you of.
I’m glad that my post have helped you realize which ones to avoid, I will post more posts like this because I had more misconceptions stored up in my computer
Hi Steven .. really well explained .. and so true – the only person who can help is us .. acting on those steps that we know will help us by improving our thoughts, words and deeds .. live for today, as we wish to be treated ..
Thanks – Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
Hilary´s last blog ..Cricket Ball Squash, Santa Claus, Italy and us …
Hey Hilary, you are right.
There are many people who likes to learn about things however never put them out for practice. They think they are so cool about knowing all this stuff on how to live a good life with wisdom…but the real wisdom is know that you must put action to produce results.
anyway, thanks for reading and commenting Hilary, I appreciate it
Hey steven aka Mr. Hoot,
This is a very very very very very very good post !!
Youve done an awesome job of explaining each and every misconception. There are still so many more…from a personal perspective though…but these are broadly what they usually are.
Happiness as an end product is a lovely thought…we just shouldn’t screw up our NOW sulking about it! Taking action is indeed the best way to live a life free of any sort of misconception.
Youre getting more and more awesome by the post…hmmm..
p.s. me header awaits thy presence
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..The Decision To Be You
Hey Zeenat,
thank you very very very very very much! lol
I agree there are still many out there, I had many more written down in a list but I didn’t want to put more than 7 because well…with each misconception comes with a drawing…and too many drawings can lag the loading time as well as making the post rrreeeaaalllllyyyy long (in an annoying way).
Thank you for your compliments.
I will get more awesome later with your header!!! haha
Hey Steven,
Mate I am absolutely loving these cartoons. I think you really have a unique way of displaying posts by using them and I am sure they are going to be very popular.
I already can’t wait till your posts come up in my RSS feed.
Keep up the awesome work.
Jonny | thelifething.com´s last blog ..Your Chance To Read Possible The Worlds Longest Blog
Hey Jonny,
You mean you can’t wait till your stick-figure comes out right? lol
Man, good thing you didn’t write 9000 words on the interview…
Thanks for the support and encouragement, appreciate it! Now I’ll draw you cool!
Steven,
Your comics/commentary is brilliant. Like Jonny, I think you stand out in a very compelling way, and your idea will catch fire very soon.
Subscribed also, and I can’t wait to read some more of your posts!
Brett – DareToExpress.com´s last blog ..Your Most Powerful Tool For Personal Growth: A Notebook
Hey Brett (dude who is 16)
wow, I wish I was that wise at 16 year old man. I could’ve avoided a lot of nasty times. So what I mean is that you are blessed with the gift of wisdom, use it well.
Good site too
, I love the fact that more of the young people generation are writing about personal development…society is getting wiser it seems ( on the web )
Hey Steven,
I’ve done a ton of reading on personal development. It changed my life. I’m thankful for everything it’s brought me – it’s literally transformed every aspect of my life for the better.
I just look forward to spreading the message and helping people connect with each other and take control of their lives. Isn’t the connection what we’re here for anyway?
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Brett – DareToExpress.com´s last blog ..Your Most Powerful Tool For Personal Growth: A Notebook
I know what you mean Brett. It changed me outlook of life as well. Although a majority of it came from actual life experience, but by reading them in books and learning more text knowledge definitely confirms many philosophies that I was never sure of.
You got the right motivation, keep it up, and we shall both spread wisdom within our own hands.
Hi Steven, I’ve been checking your blog out for a while but this (I think) is my first time commenting. I love your creativity and writing style. This post is absolutely BRILLIANT… I loved it!!
You’ve really demystified the “happiness” traps here, and our subconscious beliefs about them that ultimately only cause us more UNhappiness and dissatisfaction with life. I’m bookmarking this and sharing it. Thanks so much… Very well done!!
Cheers,
Miche
Miche | Serenity Hacker´s last blog ..Is Passion Necessary for a Meaningful Life?
Hey Miche, I really appreciate the fact that this post got you to comment! That really says something
Thank for your kind words on my writing style and the creativity. Although I do admit I am a sort of a creative person, I am however, not very smart at writing…stuff (see?)
But anyways, I’m glad that my post informed you the “happiness” traps that you mentioned in your comment.
Thanks for the bookmark and share, appreciate it lots! Why can’t people do that more?! xD jk (well not really)
Darnit! I was CONVINCED this blog post would solve all my problems and worries!!! Now what am I supposed to do?!?!
I know right? It just looked SO PROMISING. I mean with the crappy drawings and EVERYTHING! It was bound to give the world the economic recovery and cure poverty.
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by bretthimself: RT @humanexplosion: 7 Misconceptions of Life | Human Explosion – burst with passion, expression and appreciation. http://bit.ly/7EkknV…
Hey Steven.
The imagery is stupendous.
#4 is a valid one. The day our own contentment is dependent on the actions of someone else is the day we might as well give up. It is always in our hands. Everything I created was in my hands, and the things that bothered me were in my hands as well.
#6 reminds us of time we have. Anyone we see who is successful sees time ticking and knows that time is their limitation. This can be ignored, but ignorance is not bliss, as it leads to missing out on that which is valuable.
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..Sites To Mention 12-10-2009 Plus Podcast Plus Map
Hey Armen you are right on the spot with what you said. All is in your hands, you are the decider on whether if a situation upsets you or not.
Also time is limited and we cannot waste any more time pondering on how to be happy, instead we should just give it a chance and try to be.
Steven, I’m loving your drawings in these posts. Add to that the wisdom contained within and you’ve got a winner. You really captured the myths people have about positive thinking and happiness. Very well done!
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Are We Disconnecting From Real Life?
Hey Stephen thanks for the comment plus the compliment
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I will be working further and digging deeper into the misconceptions of life. Although this post may not cover as much wisdom, I can always do more research.
Thanks for visiting
What am I going to do? Just keep breathing, waking up in the morning, and making the best of the day!
While your blog won’t solve all my problems, it continues to brighten my day and give me hope that humans will rise to the occasion, to help each other, and to be the best we can be.
Your smiles are going miles (or kilometers) in my book of happiness. Thanks, again, for just being you, Steven. Your outlook on live, vibrant personality, and kick-butt comics continue to make my world a better place.
Bravo!
~xo
Lori (Jane Be Nimble)´s last blog ..Nine for 2009: My ‘Proof’ List
Lori!!
Exactly as you said. Make the best of each day no matter what happens. IF crap happens, learn from it and let it go, if joy happens immerse in it and let it flow. THAT’S really happiness right there.
Thank you for saying that about my blog. It is really people like you and all the people I have interviewed and will interview that have the passion and desire to help others. This is why I am in this niche of blogging, because I get to meet people who wants to help other people…how can you get better than that?
I’m glad my butt kicking comics brightens your day
, I hope that is true for many others who read mine.
Thanks for reading Lori, appreciate it.
There must be more than 7! I guess that’s all your had time to and I can see this becoming a series.
Why do they feed us those happily ever after books as kids? Children need to be prepared for a life with it’s fair share of ups and downs too. That way they won’t be so upset when a down comes.
Look forward to reading 7 More Misconceptions of Life:)
Hey Annabel, hahaha yeaahh…its really just TOO MANY DRAWINGS!!
I will be making this a series
so, more 7 misconceptions will be up later.
You know, I always wondered how those Disney movies would play out if we continued to watch the characters’ lives after the movie ended (happily).
Like would Cinderella and the prince have fights about stupid stuff? And feeling insecure about things? and then ultimately lose that infatuation feeling for each other, meaning they’d have to work for it? hahaha…real life got no happy ending, it’s just got a stream of experience that we can make the best of…
Thanks for your comment, made me think
Steven you LEGEND!!
First off, your site is sexy as fvck. lava smoldering slickness dipped in insight and glory. supremo respecto. plus you don’t write like a robot. which is also v. cool.
Wrote a massive article a week back about how a person’s reality is “soaked in the colours of their consciousness” so couldn’t agree more when you say that people make their realities based on their beliefs and perceptions.
#1 is super on point. in fact i think it’s what leads to the other ones. but at the same time it really got me thinking about what happiness really is. My first impulse is that happiness is complete acceptance of what is. You melt into the moment and you’re not worried about negative bleh problems. Then again, i’d prolly apply that definition to “being present” and “one with life” too. And yeah, i think they all occur simultaneously but not sure about how to define them. Either way, i think that happiness is def about “taking away negativity” more than it is “adding happiness”. Which ties into #2 where i’d say that happiness is our default state but that we condition ourselves and create elaborate stories – the self-created ‘reality’ – that cloud that inner perfection that is always dripping with happiness.
#4 was also magic. Think it’s also melted into the first two. I guess it’s that we collect a bunch of beliefs and rationalisations and concepts of the world and substitute those for true existence – which is inherintly soaked in happiness and bliss. And part of that conditioning is to look to others for how we feel. And yeah, people def will hate and try make you feel bleh but when you start to see the triviality of “my reality” and all its little labels and beliefs, you take the whole thing less seriously.
When you stop looking for yourself in other things and realise that you can just BE, some obnoxious jackass calling you an asshole becomes funny. “aw man. you look really pissed. are you okay? do you need a hug or something?”
#5 was super money. Sent little neurochemical fireworks shooting around my mind. I think happiness happens in spite of negative thoughts. you realise how STUPID it is to take things too seriously and the negativity becomes like watching a cartoon. it’s still there in the mind but you realise that you are beyond the mind and see it for what it is. The negativity is still there but you stop looking for yourself in your mind and rest as the infinite awesomeness that you are, untouched by negativity. Like the jackass who’s negative towards you, you just look at it and see the struggle of it and how fleeting it is. nahmean?
#7 = lols
wrote summen a while back called “sound-bite sized self help” about all these woo-woo gurus and how it’s not gonna fix you. Nothing will fix you, you gotta realise you’re not broken. too much reading and not enough doing. that said, self-helpy stuff can inspire change and shift perspectives but only, like you say, if you take action and make it happen.
Super inspiring stuff man. I read like 20 personal dev sites a day and yours is one of the very few i’ve found that isn’t just some little basement-dwelling shadow lord regurgitating boring useless ramblings.
Keep well mate. and in touch.
alex – unleashreality.com
Interesting idea for a post man. Keep up the content, I’m rooting for your blog dude!
Destiny Islands´s last blog ..Destiny Islands Update!